Deaver’s treatment of Ben’s nonbinary identity creates a realistic portrayal of their journey toward self-acceptance. Dealing with new friendships, family rejection, first love, anxiety, and personal growth, this novel is grounded in familiar YA terrain while exploring themes of gender identity. Ben’s loneliness abates thanks to budding friendships, but when their connection with another student, Nathan, hints at something more, Ben struggles to find the confidence to risk sharing their truth again. Ben finds comfort in art classes, which become a safe haven as the art teacher takes them under her wing. Welcomed by their older sister, Hannah, who they haven’t spoken to in more than a decade, and her husband, Thomas, they begin a new life, enter therapy, and begin to find peace as they finish their senior year. The novel centers on conflicts within a North Carolina family that drive the narrative after Ben comes out to their parents and is kicked out of the house. Deaver’s debut delivers an honest coming-of-age and coming-out story about 18-year-old queer, nonbinary Ben De Backer.
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